The ironies of life
Have you ever wondered if your life is a joke?
Sometime I do think that life loves playing jokes on me.
Is it because I am now a easier target since I have become this 'davin' that is no longer known for anything.
Nothing evil and nothing too good.
Maybe ordinary people are easy targets.
One thing I learnt throughout my life; 'Treat people how you wanna be treated back'.
I find this statement very overrated at times.
I will spend a lot of time thinking how to behave well towards others.
I feel that I have done beyond my part as a son, brother, friend, boyfriend and etc to everyone around me.
I have never done anything against my conscience or even let anyone down.
I feel I have done a lot for the people around me, I feel obligated to do so because everyone around me are just simple thinking people.
But I never felt appreciated for the things I have done.
I used to give my best in everything I do for everyone, now I feel just doing what is right or a little beyond it is more than suffice. What's the point? NO POINT at all!
The saddest thing is that I have never, ever ask for anyone around me for anything. Anything at all.
I never demanded anyone to show me appreciation, nothing at all in reciprocate to what I have done.
But why is everyone letting me down?
When I have never done anything to let them down.
I am not over sensitive.
Its you guys who do not even spare a thought for me.
Being a little selfish and self centered is ok.
I understand that there are not many are like me who put others before myself.
But why treat me like this?
To punish me for my past?
Because the past 'davin' broke your heart in every way and let you down umpteen times?
This is the only reason I can think of to comfort myself, because that shouldn't be anymore reason for that.
But ain't it enough?
The current 'davin' have took so so so much effort and pain to be what he is today, he has undergo so much of punishments from others and from life itself.
Everyone just remembers him for his past, but he was so young at that time.
Why not give him the treatment he deserves for the things he have done in recent years?
Sigh.
It ain't gonna happen, not everyone bothers or see the need to change.
I wish I will not reach to a point where I just stop and give up doing anything.
It ain't easy, to be me.
